Larry Ackerman
Corporate Coach, Westport, CT
Larry is the Founder of The Identity Circle, a corporate consulting and coaching firm in Westport, CT. His clients include Fidelity, AARP, National Geographic, State Farm and more. He also authored "The Identity Code: The 8 Essential Questions for Finding Your Purpose and Place in the World" and "Identity Is Destiny: Leadership and the Roots of Value Creation". Learn more about Larry's work and services at www.larryackerman.com
Finding & Defining Love
Know who you’re with: Part 1
Finding love requires finding the courage to speak with potential partners and asking the difficult questions to truly understand who they are.
10 мар 2017
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Being Alone & Feeling Alone
On Solitary Growth
I’ve felt terribly lonely, even when surrounded by other people. I’ve also learned that being alone is fundamental to growth: You can’t develop as a human at a party.
10 мар 2017
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AO Contributor Feedback
Getting enough “Airtime”
These questions don’t get enough “airtime”. They’re scary because there are no simple answers. For this reason alone, they’re important to talk about.
10 мар 2017
36
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Finding & Defining Love
Know who you’re with: Part 2
A way to deepen the conversation? Instead of asking someone what they do, ask them what they’re passionate about. You’ll likely get a completely different response.
10 мар 2017
34
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Money, Society & Status
Going Below the Line
The idea of being seen in the “right circles, with the right people, at the right time” doesn’t do it for me. I’d rather have fewer friends that I can have powerful conversations with and get to know on a below-the- surface level.
10 мар 2017
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Bonds, Breakups & the Essence of Relationships
3 Tips for Relationship Management: Part 2
Try to be compassionate towards those who upset you, understand what’s causing that behavior, and give people the benefit of the doubt. And if you feel like you’re in any way “losing yourself” as a result of the relationship, leave it.
10 мар 2017
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Bonds, Breakups & the Essence of Relationships
3 Tips for Relationship Management: Part 1
If things aren’t going well in a relationship or tension arises, question your role in the conflict first.
10 мар 2017
27
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The Pursuit of Happiness
The Dichotomy
I wrote in “The Identity Code” that happiness is “being at peace with yourself among others in the world.” So even if you’re within a crowd, you’re always in touch with “who I am” and not just “who we are”.
10 мар 2017
21
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Finding & Fulfilling Our Purpose
Helping to See
Once you know who you are, you’ll know your purpose. You don’t need to search “outside” for it. My purpose is to help people see and uncover their own identities/purposes.
10 мар 2017
16
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Dealing with Anxiety & Depression
Surrender without Drowning
It seems counterintuitive but if you “can’t get out of it, get into it.” Sitting with my depression or anxiety, without rushing to fix it, has helped “soften the blow” and enable me to assess how to move forward.
10 мар 2017
16
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On Death: Fear & Other Feelings
The “Earth-Shattering” Death at 25
My father died when I was 25, and this was an earth-shattering experience. I don’t even know if I’ve ever gotten over it. As a result of this early death, it has become and integral part of who I am.
10 мар 2017
26
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Money, Society & Status
Keeping Score of “More”
How much is “enough”? If you don’t periodically ask yourself this, you can become obsessed with what you accumulate without seeing the bigger picture. It’s important to contemplate this question in the context of the kind of life you want to lead, as well as distinguish the difference between “financial” and “well-being”.
10 мар 2017
12
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Good, Evil & Drawing the Line
The Stark and the Subtle
There’s no set, universal standard for what’s good or evil – it all comes down to who you are. Do you view yourself as playing a part and having a responsibility as part of the collective universe? Or do you simply view life as a path to fulfilling your own needs?
10 мар 2017
14
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Productivity
Begin with Ruthlessness
Executing your ideas is even more difficult if you’re trying to do something new, or something that challenges beliefs about who you are. It’s important to have faith in your idea, even though you don’t know the outcome, and then “pick up your proverbial pen”.
10 мар 2017
25
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Finding & Fulfilling Our Purpose
An Inside-Out Exercise
Through the people I’ve worked with, I’ve observed that individual statements of identity are individual statements of purpose.
10 мар 2017
17
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Achieving Harmony & Balance
Your Bridge and Gift
How does identity relate to what you do in the world? Many people think of searching for their identity as a “me, me, me” activity. But, in fact, your identity is your “bridge” and “gift” to the world. It’s about determining the unique contribution that you and only you are capable of making to others.
10 мар 2017
31
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Dealing with Anxiety & Depression
The Act of Acceptance
Simply being honest with myself about what I’m experiencing helps me feel a bit better. So does sharing it with others – except maybe not with family.
10 мар 2017
26
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On Death: Fear & Other Feelings
Becoming my Legacy
When I apply myself to becoming the person I want to be remembered as, I become much more comfortable with the prospect of dying.
10 мар 2017
11
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The Role of Religion
Taking Responsibility
The tenets of Judaism have played a fundamental role in my life, even though I don’t regularly practice/go to temple often. I believe in the responsibility it assigns to individuals – God is not responsible for my happiness or development of my identity.
10 мар 2017
14
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Loving Yourself
Achieving Grace
When I started with forgiving myself for my imperfections and “humanity”, I am able to forgive others and achieve a state of “grace”.
10 мар 2017
26
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Finding & Fulfilling Our Purpose
Mapping your Identity
When I coach people, I take them through a structured and rigorous identity mapping process. The goal is not only to determine what your identity is but also how it originated.
10 мар 2017
31
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Achieving Harmony & Balance
My Early-Age Identity Crisis
When I was in my early 20’s, I was in great “disharmony”. I was angry, frustrated and upset that things weren’t working out for me. I then had an epiphany that finding, and then staying true to my identity, was the only way for me to be able to relate to the world “with integrity”.
10 мар 2017
27
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Achieving Harmony & Balance
Identity as an “Inside Activity”
From the identity expert himself: your identity isn’t what you are in relation to other people (a father, a consultant, etc.). Take yourself through exercises to make your unconscious knowledge conscious, and use your findings as a framework for living.
10 мар 2017
12
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On Death: Fear & Other Feelings
A Societal Sprint from Death
In this country in society, we haven’t learned how to address death in a constructive, caring and intelligent way. Instead, we flee.
10 мар 2017
13
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