Justin Lehmiller
Social Psychologist, Sex Educator and Researcher, Author, Indianapolis, IN
Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He is a noted scholar in the area of human sexuality, having published more than 40 academic works on the subject, including a textbook entitled The Psychology of Human Sexuality that is used in college classrooms around the world. He runs the popular blog Sex and Psychology.
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Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He is a noted scholar in the area of human sexuality, having published more than 40 academic works on the subject, including a textbook entitled The Psychology of Human Sexuality that is used in college classrooms around the world. He runs the popular blog Sex and Psychology. Dr. Lehmiller is also an award-winning educator who has been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. He has written for several major media outlets, including VICE, Playboy, Psychology Today, and New York Magazine. His latest book is Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Learn more about Dr. Lehmiller and follow his blog at http://lehmiller.com Link: http://lehmiller.com Learn more about Tell Me What You Want: http://bit.ly/2EAmxvL Link: http://bit.ly/2EAmxvL Follow Dr. Lehmiller on Twitter @Justin Lehmiller or on Facebook at facebook.com/psychologyofsex
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Finding & Defining Love
Successful Relationships Require Vulnerability
A successful relationship requires not only communication, but also putting yourself in vulnerable position. A lot of us hold back on what we really feel because we’re scared of feeling vulnerable. Without willingness of vulnerability, it can be difficult to get what you want out of the relationship. #findinglove #relationship #partnership
20 мар 2018
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Finding & Defining Love
Relationships: Being Growth Oriented
It can be difficult to find love, and one of the problems is that people approach relationships with a big list of “deal breakers” in mind. We have to recognize that relationships aren’t going to be perfect and that they require work. #love #findinglove #relationship #partnership #commitment
20 мар 2018
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Loving Yourself
Living Life For Me
Accepting yourself is difficult; it took me a long time to accept myself for who I was. I came to a realization in my early twenties that I wasn’t living life for me, and when I decided to live life for myself, I started finding happiness. #lovingyourself #selflove #happiness
20 мар 2018
4
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Productivity
Disconfirming Our Personal Beliefs
Galileo’s Middle Finger by Alice Dreger is about controversial research and what happens when inconvenient scientific truths make their way into the public and are confronted by people who don’t like those truths. We live in an era where people don’t want to hear scientific findings that challenge their beliefs. Dreger’s book encourages us to keep an open mind.
20 мар 2018
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Productivity
On Effective Mentorship
I’ve had mentors at different stages of my life that have guided the way, and they’ve all been very different people. I’m fortunate to be at a point where I can serve as the mentor. My philosophy is that mentorship, while guiding others with career success, should also teach managing work life balance. Additionally, mentorship should be adaptable to fit the needs of the individual you’re mentoring. #productivity #mentor
20 мар 2018
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Productivity
My Secret To Managing Multiple Competing Tasks
I think the secret to successfully managing multiple tasks simultaneously is to be really organized. Everyday, I open a massive to-do document with urgent tasks, tasks that need to happen soon and things I want to do at some point. My approach is to complete my “on-fire” tasks daily before urgent assignments begin piling up. #productivity #timemanagement #planning
20 мар 2018
4
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Bonds, Breakups & the Essence of Relationships
The Impact of Infidelity Is Complex
Infidelity tends to be bad for relationships but it doesn’t necessarily lead to breakup or divorce. When infidelity is discovered, the initial aftermath tends to be damaging. What matters is how partners cope with it and how they communicate. Some couples come out stronger, others find an underlying unhappiness in the relationship. Understanding the impacts of infidelity is complex. #relationship #partnership #sex
20 мар 2018
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Bonds, Breakups & the Essence of Relationships
Understanding Infidelity
There’s a tendency to think that when someone cheats, their relationship is in a bad place. According to data, oftentimes it is, but that’s not the only reason people might cheat. As someone studying this for a living, the factors that lead people to cheat are biological, psychological and social. #relationship #partnership
20 мар 2018
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Bonds, Breakups & the Essence of Relationships
What Is Cheating?
Cheating is difficult to define because people are all over the map when it comes to defining infidelity. The different definitions of cheating make it challenging for everyday relationships and for sex researchers. As both researchers and those in relationships, we need to be clear on how we define infidelity. #relationship #partnership #commitment #communication
20 мар 2018
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Bonds, Breakups & the Essence of Relationships
The Magic Ratio and Overcoming Conflict
A key to overcoming a relationship crisis is to know the right way to communicate with your partner and recognize when you’re having a productive conflict versus a non-productive one. A method of doing that is attending to the ratio of positive and negative comments you’re giving to your partner. Research shows that a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative comments is the magic number. When negative comments increase, the discussion tends to go south. #relationship #partnership #communication
20 мар 2018
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Bonds, Breakups & the Essence of Relationships
Problematic Beliefs About Relationships
One of the most problematic beliefs people have about relationships is there’s one right person who can meet all their needs. It's a lot of pressure to put on one person and truthfully, you’re not going to find someone who can anticipate and meet all your needs. You have to be willing to invest and spend time on your relationship and realize conflict is a natural component of it. #relationship #communication
20 мар 2018
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Sex & Sexuality
Does Monogamy Mean Happiness?
There’s a presumption that you need to be in a monogamous relationship for your entire life and there’s only one person who meets your needs. Research shows that individuals who are in polyamorous or different types of relationships are just as happy. Regardless, the keys to happiness in relationships tend to be the same. #sex #relationship #happiness
20 мар 2018
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Sex & Sexuality
How I Became a Sex Researcher
A big ‘Aha moment’ for me was when I was assigned to be a teaching assistant for a human sexuality course during grad school. It opened my eyes to the fact that sex research was being studied and how little we actually know about sex. Realizing there’s not enough integration between the studies of relationship and sexuality piqued my interest in becoming a sex researcher. #sex #lifepurpose #knowledge
20 мар 2018
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Sex & Sexuality
Sex and Healthy Relationships
To have a happy relationship, you need to be able to have open and honest conversations about sex. People find it more challenging to talk about sex than to have sex. However, one of the keys to a healthy relationship is being able to communicate about and listen to each other’s desires. #sex #relationship #communication
20 мар 2018
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Sex & Sexuality
Why We Need to Know More About Sex
Sex is a topic most of us don’t know enough about. Growing up, I didn’t know what I needed to know. That made me realize how important it is to study sex scientifically. So many of us don’t know what’s normal when it comes to sex, which can lead to shame and sexual difficulties. #sex #taboo
20 мар 2018
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Sex & Sexuality
Misconceptions About Sex Researchers
The biggest misconception about sex researchers, educators and therapists is that we’re all engaged in research to justify our own sexual perversions. Interestingly, if you look at research on the sex lives of sex researchers, educators and therapists, they are not different from the public. #sex
20 мар 2018
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Sex & Sexuality
Adding Novelty to Our Sex Lives
There are multiple ways people can add novelty to their sex lives. Some research shows you don’t have to do something sexual to ignite sexual passion; an exciting date with your partner can create arousal. We don’t necessarily need to see a therapist to ignite our sex lives. #sex
20 мар 2018
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Sex & Sexuality
The Biggest Misconception About Sex
One of the most pervasive misconceptions about sex is that passion should be everlasting in our relationships. People tend to leave relationships when the passion subsides. The data-driven reality is that passion naturally tends to decline in most relationships. It’s part of being human. The best ways to maintain passion over the course of a relationship is to add novelty into our sex lives and communicate our desires. #sex
20 мар 2018
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Sex & Sexuality
The State of Sex Education
One of the most surprising things I’ve faced as someone who studies the science of sex and relationships is the how abysmal the state of sex education is in America and many other countries worldwide. It was shocking to learn that less than half of the states even require sex education and far fewer require it to be medically accurate. #sex #knowledge
20 мар 2018
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Finding & Defining Love
I Found my Purpose Through the Science of Sex
I think we all need to find our life purpose. I found my purpose through part of the work I do, which is speaking to the public about the science of sex and relationships. I write scientifically based information about sex, which people can use to improve their lives and relationships. It gives me a sense of purpose. #lifepurpose #purpose #path
20 мар 2018
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The Pursuit of Happiness
Work Can Wait
Happiness is having balance between work and life. I live in a culture where it’s difficult to separate what we do for a living and who we are as people. A few years ago, someone asked me to describe myself and I could only think of my work. In that moment, I realized I needed to rebalance my priorities. #happiness #peace #balance
20 мар 2018
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